Dealing With Anger, Bitterness and Disappointment When You Are Abused Or Betrayed By Another Or Tips This Christian Has Learned To Help Forgive Others When He Feels He Has Been Wronged Or Some of the Major Offenses This Christian Has Endured, and How He Has Done It

Dealing With Anger, Bitterness and Disappointment When You Are Abused Or Betrayed By Another Or Tips This Christian Has Learned To Help Forgive Others When He Feels He Has Been Wronged Or Some of the Major Offenses This Christian Has Endured, and How He Has Done It

The author understanding the “sting” of hurt, disappointment, and betrayal speaks of us being used and betrayed by our fellow man. Understanding, and noting the pain and inclination of one’s heart toward anger and bitterness directed toward those we feel have abused our trust, the author attempts to use the example of the reality of how the Eternal God used and abused His own Son from heaven, for the benefit of us who are set to inherit His salvation.

Dealing With Anger, Bitterness and Disappointment When You Are Abused Or Betrayed By Another Or Tips This Christian Has Learned To Help Forgive Others When He Feels He Has Been Wronged Or Some of the Major Offenses This Christian Has Endured, and How He Has Done It

Based on not only my own life’s experience, but also on what I feel are the eternal and infallible words of wisdom from Yeshua our lord as are quoted in the Holy Scripture, I have determined that all of us will be offended in this life, and very likely in numerous and varied manners. For Yeshua said, “It is impossible but that offenses will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come! (Luke 17:1 KJV) So I would say the question ought not to be, “Should I expect to be offended in life?”, but rather, “When I am offended, (For it is impossible for one not to be offended in this life) how can I deal best with the offense, to in the fullest way please Yehovah, and fulfill the admonition of the Scripture to be like Christ in this world?”

I believe the total answer is found in the word perspective. What is our perspective concerning the Lord, concerning life, the things of this world, concerning others, and concerning our own selves? However, I have determined that there is only one element available to man that can allow him the ability to have true perspective in times of temptation, and that is the grace of God.

I first began to learn this when in my youth I read the Holy Scriptures. I took particular note of the tales of stresses, persecutions, and difficulties that both Yeshua, and the early Christian Believers (I took special note of the Apostle Paul’s life’s difficulties) endured. I noted that even though they had undergone extreme and many difficulties and anguishes, even to the point of death itself, the words and the actions of their lives were not tainted with bitterness, anger, nor un-forgiveness. I have to admit that even though I was only 16, or maybe 17 years old at the time, this was very evidently brought to my awareness as I read the Scripture. What great power was at work in the lives of these people for them to endure so much, but yet be so very innocent of the spirit of retaliation, bitterness and anger? The years have caused me to determined it was the grace of God that was at work in them, and that without such grace this mildness and graciousness of life would have been completely impossible for them to express in their lives, and in like manner it is only the grace of God that can work in Believers today to create in us a perspective of life that allows us to live above anger, bitterness, and the spirit or actions of revenge when we are offended by others.

The communication of this article is mostly prompted by an event that happened just a couple of days ago, which in itself was the culmination of numerous points of offense that have occurred against myself and my family this very year, which are on the top of a list of very major offenses that have happened in the last decade of this man’s life. For whatever reason, on this certain night, when I had sat down on the edge of my bed to lay down for sleep, my heart became very sadden because of the remembrance of various offenses that had happened against myself and my family. I have to admit, I sat on the edge of the bed and shook my head asking myself how it could be that so many varied individuals were able to find occasion to use, abuse, and betray me? I asked myself, “Do I have the words STUPID, or SUCKER, written all over my face, thus allowing so many occasions for evil to be done toward me?” Further my thoughts were, “For in this last year, even though I have been experiencing an all-time economic low because of a debilitating bodily affliction, (Which I have endure these last 8 years) I have been taken in matters of money by no less than 4 different people, the least of these offenses having been 600 dollars, and the greatest of them represent many thousands of dollars.” Further I thought, “And in all of these cases I only endeavored to do them right, and extended trust and mercy toward each of them when they were hurting and asked for mercy and assistance from my part. Further, each begged for me to trust them, repeatedly confirming to me and to my family that they would do what is right by us” However, they did not do right. Leaving me only two options in regards to relating to them: that of pursuing what is owed to me in a civil court of law, or suffering the wrong and the loss of the money. In each case I elected to simply surrender it to Yehovah, and go on, looking for the good that I believe He alone can bring of each situation.

As I sat there on the edge of the bed my mind began to go further back in time to events of years past where far greater things were taken from me. Things that were exceedingly more precious to me then what dollars and cents have ever been able to be to me. I recalled to mind a time past when I experienced revelation from the Lord causing me to understand that His law is not void, but in fact is to be fleshed out, and that the living out of His commandments allows for the Christian to be the complete and full witness of heavenly realities that each Believer is meant to be. Namely, the issues in point were: that God’s law allows a man to take to himself more than one wife if he chooses, and in fact, in certain circumstances is obligated to. Also, that by God’s law it is an abomination for a man to dress like a woman, or a woman to adorn herself in the manner that is typical for man, for the sexes must dress in a distinctly different, the one from the other, for the sexes represent distinctly different heaven realities, and thus are called to in every action of their lives give testimony of this truth. Further, it was revealed to me, and I testified to this truth to my family and my Church brethren that by God’s law the woman is not, nor ever has been, and can never be equal to man in regards to headship, but that she must be in obedience. Obviously then this discounts many and varied practices of modern western society that in a headlong manner promotes the spirit of feminism that suggest and demands the equality of women and men in regards to headship.

Having testified of these things to my wife and to our Church brethren I found that they complete rejected me. In that I would not divorce myself from both believing and communicating what the Holy Spirit had taught me, my then wife, by the encouragement of our then Church brethren, divorced me, then sued me at law for my home, and the custody of our children. My Church brethren, in that I would not recant my stand on what I believed, (The which I believe in a far more solid manner to this day) decided to excommunicate me. They had a public meeting and accused me of being a heretic, (Which is essentially one who perverts and fundamentally misuses the Scripture) and of living a lust filled life. (I guess this is because I suggested that God’s law allowed for a man to have more than one wife) I did not attend this meeting, in that I was only to be allowed five minutes to defend myself, and the truth is that emotionally I was simply not up to it. Therefore, in that I would not recant my beliefs in regard to God’s laws, they dis-fellowshipped me from the Church, thus separating me from the Church heritage that I had by God’s hand know most of my adult life.

The summation of these events found me without a wife whom I loved, without the home that I had with my own two hands built, and without the presence of my children that I loved far more than life itself, and without the support and comfort of the Church of God that He had placed me into. Well, to put it bluntly, I was one “hurting puppy”. This was shown in that I wept one to several times a day for the greater part of one year’s time, yet I was powerless to fix any of it, for they demanded of me to deny or recant what my God had taught me in order to come back into fellowship with them. The which I did not do, for it was not in me then, and it is still not in me to this day to betray my God by calling Him a liar and saying that His word is not true. I am far more inclined to simply echo the words of Solomon The Great who said, “…I have found one upright man among a thousand….: (Ecclesiastes 7:28a NIV) Simply put, there are few men that when faced with paying a price for the truth will stand by the truth, or perhaps it could be put this way. Most men are only as honest as it is convenient at the time. Sadly, this is very often shown to be true among Christians also.

I have spoken of these thing to established that I know at least a little about pain, loss, betrayal and rejection. So, how is it that I endeavor to deal with it?

1)–I consider in my heart the love that God has shown to me in that He gave His Son from heaven to be the payment for my sin. Yeshua was USED by the Eternal Father as the payment for my sins. He became the scapegoat for my sins, and not only mine, but the sins of all men. Therefore, I have determined that no one was ever used more then what Yeshua was used. He being completely and absolutely innocent was commanded of the Father to suffer all the miserable rigors of this present world to end up nailed to a cross naked with the sins of all men upon Him, and in this position He experienced for a time the rejection of the Eternal Father. For it is written: For He hath made Him to become sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him. (2 Corinthians 5 :21 KJV) This truth never fails to humbly me if I will but bring it to mind.

2) — I remember how Yeshua, (The same is said of the first Christian Martyr, Stephen) at the very time when his enemies were killing him prayed to the Father that the sins of His persecutors would be forgiven them. Saying in essence, “Father forgive them, they know not what they do.” Thus I realize that others have not understood the depth of their sins against me at various times, even as I have wronged others and have not at the time understood the depth of the wrong that I did to them. Thus I am again humbled.

3)—I remember that I too am altogether subject to failure, and that I too, accept for the grace of God would no doubt practice every sort of sin both against God and against my fellow man. I call to mind the statement of the Apostle Paul who said of himself, “For I know that in me (that is in my flesh) dwelleth no good thing…. (Romans 7:18a KJV) I am persuaded that I am no different then what Paul spoke of himself as being. That only by God’s grace can I do good, and if at any time I do not allow myself to be subject to this grace I will not doubt do what is evil. Thus once again I am humbled.

4) — I remember that I was created by Yehovah, and redeemed by Him though Christ our Lord, therefore I am not my own, but I belong to Him, and am therefore by all rights subject to Him. Therefore, I am not my own to do according to my pleasure and whim, but must act according to the way of the Holy Spirit. Which way is to cloth one’s self with humility, and extend forgiveness and patience toward all men.

5) — I remember that Yehovah not only owns me, but the whole world. That means that whatever things I may consider mine, are firstly His. Therefore, I hold on to all things with a far less tight grip then what I would if I were the only true owner. Therefore, I am inclined to fight for the retention of things far less then what I would be if I thought they were mine only, therefore I find that I am able to surrender them into God keeping so that He can do with them as He would. This is done by the knowledge that all things visible are temporal. It is only those things that are wrought in Christ that are eternal. My life, this world, all of its people, all of its things, they will all come to an end one day. I endeavor to always call to mind the reality that I came into this world with nothing, and I will leave with nothing. The body will succumb to death, and every physical thing corruption, and eventually even the physical world itself will be destroyed. Therefore, I endeavor always to live by this determination. “He is no fool who surrenders the things he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot loose”. Therefore, I endeavor in all situation to please Him, so that on that day when I stand before Him I may then have His fullest approval. Thus, in all this I find that the words of the Lord Yeshua, “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also”, are completely true. Therefore, I will not allow my heart to become overly attached to anything that is of this present life. Therefore, I find that although many offenses happen toward me, yet they in the end have little abiding affect upon me. For men can take away my possessions, my time, my energy, and perhaps make me look the fool. I have been mocked, abused, stolen from, slanders, misunderstood, and rejected in this life, yet I realize that no man can ever take away or tarnish in any sense the real and eternal reward that Yeshua has for me in heaven, and not me alone, but also all that love His appearing. For the world and everything in it is passing away. Only Christ and His purposes will remain.

An American Watchman,
Gregory A. DeHart

God   Feminism   Jesus   Holy Spirit   Headship   Grace of God   Church   Bitterness   Wife   Forgiveness   Abuse   Abused   Betrayal   Disappointment   Heart's Treasure   Heretic   Hurt   Keywords: Anger   Law of God   Loss   Offenses   Pain   Rejection   Retaliation   Trust