Genesis chapter 2 tells the story of how Yehovah (The Biblical name of the eternal God, pronounced YeHoVah) created a garden and put the first man (Adam) into the garden, Yehovah also created the animals of the world and brought them before Adam to see what he (Adam) would name them. However, the Scripture notes that of all the animals of the world there was not found a suitable helper for Adam. Oh yes, he was in charge of all the animals, and no doubt could have used the elephant to push over and haul trees if he had needed to, or have ridden a horse from one place to another, but the Scripture clearly states that a suitable partner was not found for him to be able to play out the most important aspects of the life that God had designed him to live. Yehovah noted this, and I might add that it was not to His surprise. For Yehovah is never surprised. It is only that He does all things in His time, and it had not yet come time for Adam’s partner (Who was to be his helper) to arrive on the scene. (Dan. 9:24, Mk. 1:15, Gal. 4:4, Eph. 1:10,1 Tim. 2:6,Tit. 1:3, Heb. 9:24-28)
Although the world, and this beautiful garden called Eden were completely populated by every sort of beast, both winged and four legged, two legged, insects to galore, and the seas were filled with every sort of species of life, yet the picture was not complete, for a mate was not yet found for the first man. Therefore Yehovah said, “This is not good”, and accordingly Yehovah took the next step and made Adam to fall into a very deep sleep, at that time Yehovah opened Adam’s side and took a rib from him, and from that rib made a woman who was to be a helper for Adam. (Gen. 2:21-22) After creating the woman Yehovah presented her to Adam, then Adam referred to this one that had been taken from himself as woman, because she was taken out of man. Adam then further declared that from that point on the rule would be that men should leave their parents and cleave to a wife, and that they would be one flesh. (Gen. 2:23-25)
So it is to be seen that from the beginning Yehovah created two styles of human persons, the male and the female. They were, and still are, created by the intelligent purpose of God to be a perfect match the one for the other in all matters. In body, yes, but not in body alone, also intellectually and emotionally, both in their similarities and differences they were created to accomplish all proper objectives in this natural life unto God’s praise. Each being created according to a particular design that related to what they were meant by Yehovah to be, and to accomplish in this world. Although altogether similar, they were then, and are still today completely different, but these differences were created to accomplish the purposed objectives of the Lord. Wise is the man and the woman who seeks to understand these differences of attributes, and how they are to be fleshed out unto the fulfillment of God’s purpose in that person’s life and family. For in so doing they bring forth a proper reflection (testimony) of the relationship between Christ and the Church. For the two relationships (That of Christ and the Church, and that of a husband and wife) are meant to mirror, each the other. (Eph. 5: 22-33)
Let’s endeavor to follow the progression of how we as Christians came to a relationship with God through Christ, and after coming to Him we began to discover how certain patterns of that relationship are common to all, and lead to the maturity of a Christian. These patterns are also commonly seen to be mirrored in the marriage relationship. A man and woman come together in marriage, and then grow together in understanding, thus learning more effectively to live out a godly and wise marriage relationship.
Christ to Believer—Man to Wife, Examples of These Relationships Mirroring Each Other
The relationship between the Lord and every Believer that has ever lived began in the foreknowledge of God. Before we were created we were first in the heart and mind of God. (Rm. 8:29, Acts 2:23, 1Pe. 1:2) We are no accident, (Despite what the evolutionist want you to believe) and no person upon the face of the earth has ever been, or will ever be an accident, nor is it by chance, or by an accident that anyone is called unto salvation. (Co. 1:26, Eph. 1:18, 4:1, Ph. 3:14, 1 Thes. 2:12, 2 Thes. 2:14, 2 Tim. 1:9, Heb. 3:1, 2Pe. 1:10) In as much as we are no accident in absolutely every aspect of our physical being, but designed completely by intention, in the same manner it was also ever in Yehovah’s heart to know us relationally. He has planned and made a way, (If we will respond) for every person to come to Him through Christ to be saved, and in that salvation to flesh out a relationship with Him. (Ro. 8:30, Acts 4:28, Rm. 9:11, Eph. 1:4, Eph. 3:11, 1 Pe. 1:20)
To be able to walk with men has ever been the desire of God’s heart**.** (Gen. 3:8, Gen. 5:22-24, 6:9, Mal. 2:6, Rev. 3:4, 2Co. 6:14-18) I believe this is patterned in how a man from his heart dreams of finding a wife. Before the actuality of a wife (In any man’s life) comes to pass she is first a dream within that man’s heart. He dreams of a partner with beauty, and of entering a relationship with her. If he is wise, the dreams are more than just that of the desire for her beauty and to know her as a lover, but beyond that to acquire a life’s partner for the sake of establishing a home, children, hospitality with others, and their natural work together in this life, etc.
Each person before coming to Christ had a need, had a searching, had unfulfilled yearning. Deep within, although we may not have been able to identify it at the time, we were searching and crying out from our spirit for the truth of life, for the true purpose of our existence so that we could walk out our lives in true purpose.This speaks of how a woman is not complete without marriage, and therefore desires a relationship with a man. She also as a virgin has dreams. She dreams of being found attractive to a man, that of being courted and chosen by a man. That of experiencing the joy and honor of her wedding. That of being a lover, and found pleasing to a husband. That of being a mother, a home maker, a partner together in the affairs of life with her husband, etc.. (1Peter 3:7)
Next came the working of the Spirit of our God to draw us to Himself in Christ.
This is none other than the grace of God at work. It is the convicting and drawing work of the Holy Spirit. It is summed up in the words of Yeshua who said, “You have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you to bear much fruit.” (John 15:16) I know I can honestly say it was God who sought me out first. It was His Spirit that was at work in my life to bring me to salvation from my very earliest years, and I know that in all cases He (The Holy Spirit) is the One who initiates the relationship. This speaks of that period of courtship that is commonly experienced in one sense or another by people as a part of how they come together to marry. I realize that this can, and does vary greatly with different people, in different cultures, and situations. But none the less there is a calling period where a man expresses the desire toward a certain woman for her to become his, and share the life and calling he possesses. A period of wonderment, illustrated by disappointments as two separate people find courage to let down some of the natural barriers of their souls to open up, each to the other, thus beginning to make themselves vulnerable to the other person. For this is the way of love. Love makes itself vulnerable. The nature of love is to be vulnerable. Perhaps I’ll ask a question here. What young woman would want a man who doesn’t pursue her? If a man doesn’t have gumption, for whatever reason to pursue a woman in order to bring her to himself, then why would she want such a man? Young woman, find a man who wants you, and is willing to put a good show at pursuing you. Do not settle for less. (1Co. 13:1-13)
The next step is that we had to respond properly to come into a saving relationship with Christ. (Acts 13:46, Acts 17:11) I believe that the Spirit of God is no respecter of persons, (Acts 15:9, Ro. 3:22, Ro. 10:12, Acts 10:34) and true to the love that God has for all people He works to bring conviction of sin, and the knowledge of the promise of life in Christ to all men, however, all men do not respond to Him in the same manner. (1 Tim 2:4) Some open their heart and believe, and in that belief surrender to Him, receiving Christ as Lord and Savior. While others close their hearts and cast off faith, refusing to surrender the throne of their heart to the Lord. (Jn. 3:15-21, Rm. 12:3, 2 Thes. 3:2) When the gospel was presented to me it offered to me the promise of a life that I wanted to live. I wanted to be free from sin. I wanted to live in truth. I wanted to go to heaven and escape hell. Therefore, I responded to His love and conviction and said in affect, “I do**.”**
To a degree as a young man I “played the field”, meaning I asked out, or sought company with various young women to see what they were like. For I did not know which was the one, but thought it reasonable to see what was available, and explore how God would lead me. Mind you, this was in my case always done with the utmost respect and decency toward any young woman that I ever “dated”. However admittedly, numerous of them did little to respond to me according to the response that I was looking for. I was looking to see a reciprocation of values and beliefs, of goals and life purposes, as well as what might be called the magic of the attraction of the opposites sexes the one to the other. So young man, do not take it personal if a young woman doesn’t turn cartwheels and do somersaults over meeting you, or being with you. And beyond that give thought to the deep and important values and purposes that you have within yourself in order that you might by Yehovah’s blessing be able to substantiate that these same values and attributes exist in a perspective mate. Young woman: to you I give the same counsel. There are lots of buses in the city going to and fro…make sure you get on the bus that has promise in taking you where it is that you need and want to go, and make sure the most important aspects of what you are looking for are the deep seated spiritual and moral character qualities and beliefs that a godly life, and family are built on. Beyond that, may he be the epitome of the masculine hunk you’ve dreamed of. But again I say to you, make sure the “bus” you get on is pointed in the direction you want to go. For once you’re on it, it is not very likely that you are going to change that bus’s course, for its course has already been set. So if and when you buy a ticket for his train and set your fanny down, wherever he goes, or does not go, is where you are going to go, or not go.
Let us momentarily consider how that before Christ by the Holy Spirit even began to draw us unto Himself, He first did the necessary things needed to provide that salvation, thus allowing our relationship with Himself to be a possibility. This included all the steps of His obedience to the Father in fulfilling the role of the Lamb of God. Which in so doing He paid the payment for your sins and mine, thus purchasing us to God. He loved us in the most practical senses. (Heb. 2:1-3, Rev. 1:5, 1Pe. 18-20) This is a picture of how a man seeking a relationship with a woman needs to take the necessary steps to prepare a reasonable home and provision for a wife. To prepare himself in regards to relational skills, as well as necessary physical skills, and the monetary provisions that are necessary to take care of a wife, and obviously the children which she will by all natural courses present to him. (Gal. 6:4, 1 Tim 5:1-8, Eph. 2:28, 2 Thes. 3:6-12)
He foreknew us, then He called us, then as we positively responded He entered us by the Holy Spirit and we were born again. (1 Peter 1:23, Jo. 3:1-10) Yes, hallelujah for that! As it is written, “But as many as believed on Him, to them gave He power to become sons of God.” (John 1:12a) We, as many as have been born again have become new creations in Christ, our spirits having been regenerated. (2Co. 5:17) Before this advent our spirits were dead in that they were cut off from the life that is in God, but the Holy Spirit breathed life into our spirits, and new life was begun. (Eph. 2:1-4) There is no equal that any natural husband can do in respect to the born again experience, which is the single greatest of all experiences and gifts. None the less, it is true that when a relationship is proper, and a young woman is called to a husband who cherishes her, that a life, a vitality, an exuberance comes in to her that is in each case is a joy to behold. In fact, people often refer to this as “young love”. For she was created by God to belong to a man, and in so much as the relationship is right and offers hope, she will find joy and glory in the state of matrimony.
Reality is however, that the “high” we experience of being newly born-again, of the new relationship with the Savior who has become the husband of our spirit, that that “high” does not continue forever, but the everyday realities of life have for each of us the tendency to dull things. The newness of the experience needs to be replaced by the characteristics of abiding love. Which are among other things: abiding joy, faithfulness, consistency, loyalty, hard work, obedience, self-denial, etc. Perhaps it could be stated this way. Love by necessity puts on a different set of clothes in order to brave the storms and rigors of life. This does not mean that none of the old “fire and sparks” are to be found, for these aspects of love are necessary for the Believer to please the Lord, but it must be coupled with the characteristics that will ensure an enduring relationship through all of life’s storms and rigors. (2 Pe. 1:4-11, Gal. 5:22-23, Rev. 2:4) This same reality is found in the marriage relationship. The fun and excitement found in the newness of courtship and early marriage will be dulled with the realities of life’s responsibilities. However, wise is the man and woman who do not allow the hardship and rigors of life to steal from them the romance that can be theirs if they are willing to perpetually do those things that are needed to keep it going. Even so the romance between the Lord and the Believer must be guarded and maintained. (Rev. 2:4)
In order for a Christian to have success in salvation he must learn to accept the calling of work and character that the Lord has for Him to do and to be. Many of these are completely common to all Christians, and are expressly pointed out in the word of God, such as: to be holy, to be faithful, to be pure, to be loyal in all relationships, to be honest, to know God, to seek God, to witness to your neighbor of your faith, to stand against false doctrine, or any other form that falsehood may show itself. (For falsehood dresses itself in many varied adornments, and can only be known by a continual fellowship with Yeshua via the Holy Spirit, though the Scripture and prayer) Beyond the elements that are general to the call of God, the Holy One will have particular callings for His people. They will be according to what He knows are the abilities and heart’s inclination of the particular Believer. These can very much be varied one person to another, these are given by the Holy One individually to each person in the Lord. BUT, one thing is of absolute surety, and that is that all callings given to Christians are a part of the major purpose and objective of the Lord. If we are truly His, then we will surrender ourselves to do His work in the world. This is a basic characteristic of the salvation of all people. To be a disciple means that we must surrender our life to Him, and take unto ourselves His way, and His life, and His purposes, and his rewards for us will then be according to how we accomplish His bidding. (Acts 26:19, Hag. 2:4, Mat. 21:28-31, Mk. 13:34, 1 Co. 15:58, 2 Tim. 4;5) In like manner a marriage cannot be successful without the surrendering of a wife to the calling, or major objectives of a husband. There is no hope in having two heads, or two major callings in a family. It cannot work, and it is not the wisdom of what is seen in the Christian calling. The idea of a woman being equal in headship to her male head is not of God, it is a product of the wisdom of this age, it is ungodly and dos not work. (1 Co. 11: 3-16, 1 Co. 14:34-35, Eph. 5:22, 1 Tim. 2:9-15, 1 Pe. 3:1-8) Wise is the woman who understands this, and therefore seeks out a man who is going somewhere in life that she can feel good about. (Admire and respect) this will do much to encourage her heart to surrender to her man’s life’s calling when they become married. Wise is the man who seeks the Lord and has developed purpose in His life that is in line with the truth and purpose of God’s calling, for obviously in supplying his own need for vision he also supplies his wife’s need for vision. (1Tim. 4:16, Eph. 5:25-27, 1Co. 14:34-35) The chief aspect of the objective of having purpose is that a man needs to know God. Within the parameter of that there are many lesser but still very important aspects of life’s purposes, such as: his vocation, what work will he do, what he will do daily to make his way, and his family’s way in the world? What involvement he will have/ or right now does have in the Church, what ministry to the household of God, and to the people of the world does he have, or is he pressing into? Or, is his heart filled with the pursuit of pleasures, rather than responsibilities? Young woman: this you better take note of, for a man that spends all, or the greater part of all his available energies pursuing pleasure (Fun and games) generally has little hope in making a good husband. For he is stuck on himself and cares little about others, or of Yehovah’s calling on his life.
Within this subject matter I wish to state that although a woman is to give herself to the major purpose of her husband, that does not mean that there is no room for personal pursuits and interests that are good and proper, in so much as they can fit within the scope of her major life’s purpose. The woman must allow lesser pursuits to be subject to the right time and occasion for them to come to pass. For the first and higher calling is to aide her husband in His God given objectives, and fulfill her basic responsibilities as a wife and mother. (1 Timothy 5: 14) Beyond these, there are God given goals and aspirations that belong to her personally, and these she ought to pursue and accomplish. This is also a picture of the believing person who having given his heart to accomplish the will of the One from Heaven who calls him, finds that the Lord will allow him pleasures and personal fulfillments along the way that are not expressly a part of the assignment given him from God. (Ro. 8:32, 2Pe. 1:3)
As the Believer must study the Lord in order to fulfill his calling in the Lord, to be able to function in it, and fulfill it, even so a wife must study her husband, and by faith give herself in aiding him to become who Yehovah has called him to be, and do what Yehovah has given him to do. This will take great wisdom and faith on the part of a woman. For if she really looks diligently into these things, she may see that Yehovah’s calling for her husband, and their family is much greater than perhaps what her husband even realizes. She may begin to see far beyond his current developed abilities, and his personal perception of his calling. It will take great faith and love for a wife to not conduct herself in direct response to the present maturity level of her husband, but the level of maturity and responsibility that she knows in the Lord is her husband’s calling to flesh out. (1 Sam. 25: 1-44) Also if a woman has a husband who is a faithful servant of Yeshua, this also may cause her great pressures in that faithful servants of Yeshua are a persecuted and pressured lot, and these persecutions and pressures (At least to a degree) will also then fall on her to carry, the which, is a picture of Christ’s sufferings falling on to the faithful disciple.
Beloved: May Yehovah the Great One grant you wisdom and the encouragement of His presence as you set to study, and then flesh out these principles of truth in your life and marriage. Amen!
An American Watchman,
Gregory A DeHart